This is for all those who have met Mr/Mrs. Unavailable.
I generally think, when a person starts off the getting to know you process with “I’m really busy, blah, blah, blah“.
That’s probably not a good sign if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
My typical visceral reaction is, “then why the bleep are you on a dating site, with “looking for a relationship” as your status.
Why the bleep did you ask for my number, why are you calling me, acting like you want som
ething more, when all your capable of is “being
busy” and a “good” time.
Although these are your initial thoughts, like most you continue. Sometimes Mr/Mrs. Unavailable has commitment issues, heartbreak issues, ISSUES, ISSUES.
All things to be carefully considered before you drink the Koolade!
Mr/Mrs. Unavailable will operate with the disclaimer: I’m really busy and proceed to treat you like a side act, while waiting for the big show.
You should know this, and also let’s stop treating Mr/Mrs. Unavailable like an emotional pound puppy, that we must take home. Sometimes you have to leave that puppy in the rain and snow until she/he realizes what home means.
What should you do about Mr/Mrs. Unavailable?
Remove your goodies from his/her basket. Divest yourself from the courtship, severe that tingle of the like/love’ feeling.
If it’s the beginning it will not be too hard, just keep recounting the missed connections, calls, and dates.
If you are a few months to a year in…well, there will be trouble on the horizon.
Because Mr/Mrs. Unavailable soon turns into Mr/Mrs. Self-centered a** and Mr/Mrs. Charmy/Swarmy to keep convincing you, that the sick feeling in your stomach is worth the ride in the end.
The only thing I can say is reboot and revisit the much hated “needs” conversation and don’t take no for an answer. Talk about it!
If he/she means something to you.
Finally nothing is that simple, but if you’ve been with him/her for a while, then he/she might really be invested and voicing your concerns in a non-threating way, maybe the path to some much-needed re-negotiating of the relationship.
Good Luck & Ciao
P.k.
1 Comment(s)
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That was pretty brilliant! People tell you who they are within the first conversation or so, listening is important and challenging when chemistry and hope and sexual tension are involved but those voices cease to be as loud when the first voice the loudest voice “I’m not available” voice continues to get louder and louder, causing you to have ear bleeding and heartbeeak!